I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
