You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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