Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
