have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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