I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
