there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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