Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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