if you like me you must not know who I am
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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