She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
