If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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