I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
