you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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