your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
