All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
