Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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