you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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