The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
