is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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