so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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