I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
