He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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