shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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