Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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