I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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