Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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