it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
