We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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