3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
