I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
