My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
