i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
