Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
