shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
