I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
