Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
