Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
