I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
