I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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