Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
