im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
