Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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