I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
