It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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