Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
