i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
