I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
