We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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