I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my being single is dangerous.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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