And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This toilet bowl is my home.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
