I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's blow job season.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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