I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
