Fine. I'll sleep in my office
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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