Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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