I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I will pee on everything he values.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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